He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
