come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
