You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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