You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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