apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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