PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
