I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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