So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
