Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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