Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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