so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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