You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
