Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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