This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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