BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
