What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
