if i can run in heels then i can drive
honey bunches of taint.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
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