Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
