yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
