FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
