You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
