i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
