i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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