So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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