It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
