D3 body, D1 cock
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
