you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
