i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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