Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
