so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
