i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
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