I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
