I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
