grandma shit on top of the toilet
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
