Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
