My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
