a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
