is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
