you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
