does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
