3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
