Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
handjob tips. give me some.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
