Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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