it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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