i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My balls are so social today.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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