I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
