Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
