I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
