needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
