You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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