Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
