Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
